Coworker Confessions.

The workplace tell all.

confession #267 - industry

i work in IT and have automated my entire job. Most of my time I’m sitting at my terminal browsing reddit or the news and I spend 30mins a day adjusting my script and checking up on it. I’m literally the laziest person in the building and have no interest in my job anymore, if there’s any drastic changes I’m literally fucked. The only reason I do it is because it keeps me out of the house, I get paid and away from my parents otherwise I’d be living back home with them.

read more

confession #260 - worklife

I work as a School counselor. Today was an awful day for me, as I had reported one of my colleagues and he is definitely getting fired because of it. What makes me feel a little better though is that he deserves it. A couple of days ago as I was walking down the corridor, a pupil tugged on my dress and told me that she doesn’t want to go to PE. I asked her why and she just ran off. So I investigated on my own and peeked through the gym window to see what was going on. The first two days were nothing out of the ordinary, but the third day I saw the gym teacher started hitting pupils who didn’t do the exercises right with a thin branch. He had been working with us for over 8 months and I honestly didn’t see this coming.

read more

confession #259 - worklife

Ok, so I work as technical support in a big firm. I got yanked out of my lunch break because some big wig needed me ASAP. I didn’t really appreciate that, but oh well, what can I do. So, I go where I was told, ready to troubleshoot the problem. I sit down on the PC and I see some random sex chat/video apps installed that keep crashing the computer. How fucking stupid can you be. I mean he is a fucking multi-millionaire at the least. I will never understand some people. Needless to say, I am sending the info up the chain and he will have to face the consequences if we get a security breach in the near future.

read more

confession #258 - worklife

My Most Embarrassing Moment in Life As part of my degree course, I had to take a 3-months unpaid internship at a government facility that ran a soil science lab. The lab’s in charge, a Ph.D., was particularly a pain. Despite his academic credentials, he was computer illiterate. He figured that computers were delicate equipment that would break down in an instant. As a result, he was vehemently against anyone using the computers, moreso the interns. Even the lab assistants had to seek permission from him to write lab reports, never mind that they needed to process soil reports for paying clients. One fateful day, I needed to write my progress report and not having computer access at home, I figured I’d be sneaky and use one in the laboratory. I waited until the boss had left his office before making my move. I swiftly fired up the PC, opened MS Word, before starting to type my report furiously. As fate would have it, my typing skills were not up to scratch. I was banging the keyboard loudly in my haste to get it done double quick before he returned. I was so engrossed in typing out my report that I didn’t see nor hear the boss make his way back to the lab, maybe an hour later. All I heard was a loud voice that scared me half out of my skin “Whaaaaat? What are you doing there? “Who….. Who permitted you to bang that thing!?” He stammered as he gestured towards the keyboard and made the typing motions. What followed was a hurriedly convened department-wide meeting to discuss the errant nature of interns. He made me stand up during the meeting as he went on a verbal tirade about insolent university students who wouldn’t amount to much in life. I have never been so embarrassed in my entire life.

read more

confession #257 - worklife

I work as a primary school teacher. I never say this to anyone I know, but I don’t really feel like I am earning my pay. I just to go school and command kids around. It is mostly easy and fun, except when they decide to be rowdy, but everything else is just breezy. Oh, and sometimes when they need to learn something really hard for them, but when they start whining about how hard the subject is, I just tell them to rip out a piece of paper out of their notebooks and tell them to draw something related to the lesson. And the best part is, my class does best on the school’s random testing. #HumbleBrag

read more

confession #256 - worklife

I used to work in a small, family owned business, and discovered very quickly that the owners were exceptionally "conservative", and very vocal about it. I heard on a nearly daily basis how "the homos" were destroying family values, were choosing to be deviant, and shouldn't be allowed to go to Disney World. All the while, they never realized I was one of those deviants they would complain about, and was desperately looking for work somewhere else. Finally, one day, after a particularly nasty tirade following the discovery that there was a gay Green Lantern, I went to a nearby park, where the men's room was known for cruising, and snuck in to write my abusive boss's cell number on the wall. There was exactly half a day of his face turning a fiery swollen red every time his phone vibrated, before he marched out mid-conversation to go to his service provider and demand a new number. This all came back about two months later when with a vein pulsing in his forehead, he told us all that he had to change back to his old number (the one on the wall) because several of his vendors and debtors had only that number, and for security reasons would not reach out to him on the new number.

read more

confession #255 - worklife

IWAA resale children's clothing buyer, and it's a wonder how upset people can get when dealing with payment for a storage bin full of used infant onesies. I've found crack pipes, used diapers, moldy fast food wrappers, and visibly used thongs mixed in with baby clothes, all of which will have us automatically refuse a purchase. I think my "favorite" customer though, was an elderly old woman, complete with crochet cap and santa clause wire glasses who came in sweet as pie with a baby swing that looked to be from the 1950's. Every cushion and strap was coated in black mold, and of course I had to refuse it. Her face melted into the visage of an absolute demon, and she screeched the whole way out the door that I was blind, as evidenced by my "destroyed Barbie die job." She called for the next three days, at noon on the dot, threatening to make us take the swing if she had to throw it through the window. Since this was technically a threat, we had to call the police and file the report. The high point of my day, was getting to watch the expression on a grizzled, 6'2 beat cops face as I described how Mrs. Clause was trying to shake us down.

read more

confession #254 - worklife

I work as a supervisor at a large supermarket chain. I really do enjoy my job and I am damn good at it. I'm currently working my way down the managerial path - all my managers and co-workers seem to think it's a great idea, and I go along with that, but I have doubts. I want to get higher up, but I'm constantly afraid I'm not good enough or that others are better qualified. I frequently ignore texts and calls from work because I'm tired and I've chucked a few sickies lately, and I don't think I'm cut out for the job. But I feel like I can't pull out now, because I'm in way too deep.

read more

confession #253 - worklife

I’m a barista at a local café. We have only one employee per shift and we close down for 10 minutes every 2 hours or so to clean the bathroom. Everything was good, I had amazing tips and kept flirting with pretty girls all day, until it came time to clean the bathroom 15 minutes before my shift ended. I was literally smiling before I went in. There were chunks everywhere, it was disgusting. I just went out and didn’t look back. I reopened the café and was very careful that no customer went there, and the ones that did, I just told them that it was out of order. Mark, the barista on the next shift came soon after and I just went home. He is a nice guy and I am sorry for doing that to him, but I am just going to let him handle that mess.

read more

confession #252 - worklife

Full-time nanny here. I work for a well-off couple with 3 children, the youngest of which is a 10-month old baby. I adore the kids and the parents as well, at least until a few months ago when the father started sexually harassing me. He has blocked my path on a few occasion and slapped my butt when nobody is watching. When the whole thing started I only thought things like these only happened in movies. Even more so since I am a slightly older than the parents and can’t even begin to compare with his fitness crazy wife which is a total knock-out. I have loved working for them so far and I am afraid that if this continues I will be forced to move on.

read more

confession #251 - industry

I work (well, worked) as a dishwasher in a fine dining restaurant. Anyway, I didn't really enjoy my job, because one day I burned my hand pretty badly by touching a hot pan, but my boss wouldn't let me go home despite the fact that we had two other dishwashers on that day. Also one of the servers would come down and berate me and swear at me while I worked. So anyway, one night I was on by myself and I told my boss that it would be my last night. There is a whole procedure to follow at the close... you've got to sweep up and mop, take all the garbage out, finish doing the dishes etc. but I decided that it wasn't my problem any more and just went home.

read more

confession #250 - worklife

I am a waiter/receptionist at a fairly pricey restaurant. Not all that unusual, but today there was a scene right out of the movies at my workplace. It was the middle of lunch-time and a guy with huge glasses, pocket protector and an all-out nerdy look came in with a gorgeous babe, I swear she must be a supermodel. They didn’t match at all and everyone kept staring. They sat on my table, so I was serving them and I didn’t wat to be a cliché and gawk at them or make them uncomfortable in any way so I put my serious waiter face on. I kept controlling myself not to stare at the pretty lady and paid more attention to the gentleman. They ordered small, ate and left pretty quick even before asking for the bill, but they left money on the table. It was $150 over the price, so this is the biggest tip I have gotten ever! I feel somewhat rewarded for my work etiquette and it feels nice, I hope they come again soon.

read more

confession #249 - worklife

Happily employed call center agent here. I say happily because it feels more like home rather than at work. Everybody is very close, even with the boss and sometimes it feels more like a party than anything else. We do finish all our work on time though. Anyways, on my first day there, when I didn’t really know anybody yet, my then supervisor was plugged into my headset so that he can help me and see how I get on. My very first customer calling, and I am clutching my scripts, never having been so nervous in my life and my supervisor is standing next to me grinning and saying nothing. I start talking with Jedi-like focus, actually answering every single question with such professionalism that I amaze myself and just as the call was finishing and I was about to say “Goodbye, have a nice day” Jim, the supervisor tells me not to forget to ask if they would like fries with that. Without even thinking I did just as he said. I was representing a medical waste company and the second after I said it I was pretty sure I was going to get kicked on the first day of my job. I didn’t though, but Jim is still telling this story to whoever he can.

read more

confession #248 - industry

I work as a programmer. The plethora of algorithms, API and design concepts make me nervous. Most of the time I nod my head and sweat balls. One day, I was asked to fix a bug on a teammate's terminal. I stared at the screen for a full 30 seconds tapping me finger on the desk. I took a stab in the dark with the code I wrote, compiled the code and the program chugged along perfectly. I hear a lot of ooo's and aaah's. The team leader pats me on the back and I proceed to sweat balls in the cubicle wondering what the hell I just did.

read more

confession #247 - industry

I work as a hairdresser. It irritates me when customers ask for a discount. It happens on a daily basis. I don't understand their logic; especially clients that are well off. I would feel terrible to ask someone to discount their worth. I could understand if it was in the thousands or a packaged service however at times our services aren't even over $100. It's as if we are some sort of negotiable electronics goods store. We provide a service, that generally doesn't allow discounts to non-regular customers and rarely is applied to friends. If you can't afford to pay for a quality service please move to the next shop. To the customers that frequent/infrequently visit us and offer tips. A big thank you.

read more

confess